The yard was draped with a sadness that crept beneath the fallen leaves; a seductively somber introduction to the next phase of life. She walked among it with drifting thoughts of yesteryear—the smiles that no longer exist—playing like children in the southernmost section of the open field. The wind sweetly kissed her weeping visage and enveloped her lonely soul. He will never know … she thought.

A jabbing repetitive echo of ‘glitch hop’ disturbed her momentum as she came to remember the cell phone in her hand. “Do not forget to close the blinds”—she recalled his words while smiling into the sun—“the morning sneaks in and nudges you just right.” He’d leave her romantic messages in succession in texting and even photos he would take of his written notes.

Swallow your sorrow baby …

She flipped through the photo folder through each of the notes and happened to find the one which read: “Draw a smile when you cannot.”

The field embraced her broken heart and bereaved aura as she collapsed to the tiny section of freshly cut grasses and dead leaves. The tug in her chest was so heavy that breathing became strained and rushed. A tear slowly made its way down her cheek and eventually fell before her to the ground. With her finger, she concentrated on trying to draw a smiling face into a small mound of dirt but had little success.

All she could see were his smiling brown eyes looking back at her. She jerked her head as to shake the image; however she struggled with letting it go. A gulp of mourning retarded her breathing while she lulled her head toward the earth.

Let me rest God she prayed in a fervor leave me to this shallow grave, for I cannot make it beyond this moment.

From behind her raised a voice from a stranger; “Are you all right”—the man stepped towards her carefully—“didn’t you hear me yelling?”

Keeping her eyes fixed on the earth; she brushed her tears down her cheek several times while quietly gasping for a stable breath. Her moment of simply giving in had been distracted, and this angered her quite a bit. “What do you want?” She was surprised to hear how calm and reserved her voice sounded as she continued to wipe the tears from her sorrow beaten face.

“A man down by Echo pond sent me this way, said there was work for me here”—the man bent down and offered her his hand—“here, let me help you up” he said.

Something about him seemed as friendly and comfortable as the since deceased Frederik. She turned to gaze upon him when she had been knocked aback by disbelief; his face was nearly exact to the one she had been dreaming of since burying her fiancé. She took his hand “what is your name?” she asked.

“Ed”—he softly replied—“and yours?” He assisted her to her feet and they both looked to another in such curious wonder of each other.

She shook his hand, and looked him over carefully, “Jen…” said she.

He simply smiled as though he’d already known just that and continued; “A brown eyed man up north sent me here and he told me that someone out here needed my help.”

She studied his face and then his words and thought about Frederik’s brilliant brown eyes. She thought about how he avidly discussed Echo pond with her and how he talked in length about the amount of time he’d spent there alone. She then brought her attention to Ed whom as well had smiling brown eyes that carefully looked over her in wonder. She thought about how his eyes looked closely similar and how voice was just as similar. She also considered his unique timing and how she hadn’t even heard him approach her in her moment of mourning. “Where did you come from?” she heard herself say in a clear and calm tone though deep inside she was extremely nervous.

“What really matters now is that I am here”—he reached over and took her hand—“for you.”

The wind and rain built of her bereaved soul began to steadily lift off of her as she wrapped her hand around his. The overwhelming sensation of his presence had in that very moment washed away years of weeping and torment that had confined her to a pathetic existence of self-turmoil and depression. There was this unspoken connection that had quickly erased the lugubrious sky she lived beneath.

She wondered if Ed was an angel, one sent to her from her deceased fiancé. It is amazing … she thought just being in his presence makes me smile again.


2 thoughts on “Halona

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